From Anxiety to Advantage: How to Train Emotional Control and Perform Under Pressure

Introduction

In the first two parts of this series (1, 2), we looked at how emotions shape performance, for better or worse, and how anxiety, when left unchecked, can pull athletes out of the zone and into their own heads.

We explored the difference between helpful and harmful emotional states, and how pressure has a way of showing up whether you're ready or not.

For example, we unpacked key models like the Individual Zones of Optimal Functioning, Multidimensional Anxiety Theory, Drive Theory, and Reversal Theory to understand how arousal and anxiety impact performance in different ways.

All these gave us insight into what happens under pressure.

Now, this third piece is about what to do with that understanding, because insight without application doesn’t change performance.

But, here's the thing: pressure isn’t the problem.

It’s how you relate to it that matters.

And while many athletes hope to feel calm before they compete, the reality is that nerves, doubt, and adrenaline are part of the game.

What separates high performers is their ability to work with those feelings, not be hijacked by them.

So, this article is about training emotional control like you’d train any physical skill.

We’ll look at how to reframe anxiety into focus and fuel, how to reset in real time when emotion spikes, and how tools like breath work, cue words, and visualisation can help steady the internal world, even when the external one is chaotic.

And we’ll also explore how coaches can build this into their culture, through language, praise, and practical routines, so that emotional control becomes something athletes develop before they need it.

Let’s get to work.

First,

Why Emotional Regulation Matters

Let’s be honest, it’s not that athletes don’t feel pressure.

They do.

In fact, the ones who care the most often feel it the most.

The difference is, some know how to use that pressure.

Others get swallowed by it.

Now, emotional regulation isn’t about pretending you’re calm, or ignoring what’s going on inside you.

It’s about noticing what you feel, adjusting when needed, and staying connected to the task in front of you.

For instance, when an athlete gets rattled and starts overthinking, their performance drops, not because they lack ability, but because they’ve lost connection with the moment.

Breathing gets shallow, the mind tightens, and their actions follow.

But when emotional control is in place, athletes can stay available.

Available to see the play, hear the call, and respond with clarity rather than panic.

They don’t lose time trying to fight their emotions, but instead, use that energy to refocus.

Importantly, though, this isn’t a soft skill.

It’s a performance skill. It shapes decision-making, reactions, recovery, and confidence.

It determines whether an athlete shows up in pressure moments, or checks out.

And just like strength, speed, or skill, it can be trained.

Reframing Anxiety as Excitement

Before we get into practical tools like breathing or cue words, we need to deal with the underlying belief most athletes carry — that feeling anxious means something is wrong.

This is where reframing comes in.

In basic terms, reframing is the ability to take a thought, feeling, or situation, and look at it through a different lens.

In psychology, this idea is central to cognitive-behavioural theory.

You don’t just react to what happens — you react to what you think it means.

Changing the meaning often changes the response.

In sport, this is especially important.

Why?

Because the body’s stress response, increased heart rate, faster breathing, and adrenaline release, shows up whether you’re nervous or excited.

According to research from the Harvard Business School (Brooks, 2014), people who told themselves “I’m excited” before a stressful task performed better than those who tried to calm down.

They didn’t change the symptoms; they changed the story.

For example, two athletes might feel the same rush before a big match.

One thinks, “I’m not ready.” The other thinks, “I’m sharp and switched on.”

Same physical reaction, completely different mental framing, and ultimately, different behaviour.

So this isn’t about pretending.

It’s not about saying you feel great when you don’t.

It’s about choosing the most useful explanation in the moment.

That’s what reframing does. It puts control back in your hands.

Now, the simplest way to begin training this is with language.

Short, repeatable phrases that anchor the nervous system and redirect attention.

Things like, “This means I care,” or “Let’s use it,” or “I’m ready for this.”

These become internal cue words that shift the lens through which pressure is viewed.

Over time, this shift creates new patterns.

You start expecting nerves and using them, instead of fearing them and fighting them.

And once you can ride that wave, the emotion no longer pulls you under. It pushes you forward.

That’s the power of reframing. Not to remove pressure, but to redefine how you meet it.

Try This: A Simple Reframing Protocol

If you're not sure where to begin, here’s a quick step-by-step protocol to help you reframe anxiety into readiness:

1. Notice the signs – Increased heart rate, quick breathing, mental chatter? Good. That means your body is gearing up.

2. Name it out loud – Say, "This is energy," or "This is activation." Naming it helps separate the feeling from panic.

3. Choose your frame – Ask yourself, "Is this fear or focus? Can I use this?" Then respond with a phrase that reflects control, such as "I'm ready" or "Let's go."

4. Anchor it – Pair that phrase with a physical action. A breath, a fist clench, or stepping into your stance. This helps lock the mental shift into your body.

5. Repeat as needed – The key is consistency. The more often you catch and reframe, the more natural it becomes under pressure.

The Role of Self-Talk, Cues, and Focus Control

Once you’ve reframed what the nerves mean, the next question becomes: what do you actually do with that energy?

This is where the quality of your internal dialogue matters.

Self-talk is more than just a pre-game pep talk.

It’s a psychological skill backed by research showing it can influence how athletes focus, cope with pressure, and regulate effort.

According to Hardy, Hall, and Hardy (2005), structured self-talk has measurable effects on performance.

But like most tools, the outcome depends on how you use it.

Athletes who rely on instructional or process-focused self-talk, like "breathe through" or "plant and drive", tend to perform more consistently under pressure.

This kind of self-talk has been shown to be especially effective in technical and precision-demanding tasks (Tod, Hardy, & Oliver, 2011).

That doesn’t mean motivational self-talk has no place.

But for it to work, it needs to be more than just hype.

It needs to connect to the athlete’s values and goals.

It’s the difference between yelling 'Let’s go!' and actually reminding yourself why you need to step up in that moment.

If the language shifts attention back to the task, helps you regulate energy, or reinforces your role, it has value.

Cue words, in this context, act like anchors.

They focus the mind, signal a shift, and help snap you out of spirals.

When chosen well, they condense your focus into something repeatable and reliable under pressure.

So, how do you choose the right ones?

Start by identifying the moments where your focus tends to slip.

Is it after a mistake?

Before a high-pressure moment?

When you’re fatigued or flustered?

Then link a phrase or action to that pattern.

Keep it short. Keep it specific. Keep it real.

With that in mind, quickly think in terms of a common situation...

You drop the ball or miss a tackle in an important game.

Do you spiral, or say something like, 'next job'?

I’ve worked with athletes who freeze in that moment, and get stuck on the error.

But I’ve also seen what happens when they train themselves to go 'breathe,' or 'reset,' and move on.

Cue words like 'reset,' 'lock in,' or 'be here' aren’t decorative but mental shortcuts.

They tend to bring attention back to where it needs to be in pressure moments.

I’ve always taught athletes to manage the moments — and this is one way to do that.

When practised consistently, these cues help build neural pathways that make that redirection faster and more automatic.

In other words, those cue words you practise, 'reset,' 'lock in,' 'be here' are functional.

They act like muscle-memory for your focus.

So why does any of this matter?

Why do cue words, internal scripts, and redirecting attention even work under pressure?

It comes down to how the brain processes threat.

Whether it's real or just perceived, the body responds as if survival is on the line, and that reaction can quickly derail performance.

This is where Attentional Control Theory comes in, as it helps us understand how the brain reacts under perceived or actual threat, especially in high-pressure sport environments.

To really get what’s going on, we need to look at how stress shifts our mental resources.

The Attentional Control Theory (Eysenck et al., 2007) suggests that under pressure, the brain reroutes its attention toward threat detection.

Instead of staying anchored in task execution, it begins scanning for signs of danger, failure, or judgment.

You lose direction.

Focus becomes reactive rather than intentional.

And the rhythm that underpins performance starts to slip.

That’s when things unravel, not because of a lack of skill, but because of a shift in attention.

That’s also why pressure feels so mentally noisy; your cognitive resources are being diverted to monitor your emotional state and external threats, rather than keeping you locked in on the game plan.

This is exactly where cue words come in.

They help restore intentional focus.

And used consistently in training, these simple verbal anchors act like mental signposts, pulling your attention out of the spiral and back into the moment.

So when we teach cueing, we’re not being fluffy or motivational.

We’re targeting one of the most common breakdowns in high-pressure performance, and giving athletes a practical tool to interrupt the slide and reset.

That’s also the goal. To have strategies preloaded.

So that when the pressure hits, you're not reacting to emotion, you're responding with clarity.

When the emotion spikes, your brain doesn’t scramble for answers. It just runs the play.

Mental Resets and Breath Work

OK, now that we've covered how thoughts and words shape performance, it's time to bring the body into the equation.

Because pressure doesn’t just live in the mind, it shows up in the body too.

You feel it in your chest, your breathing, your hands.

And if left unchecked, it will hijack your physiology.

This is where reset routines and breath work come in.

They're tools for regulating the nervous system in real time.

Not to eliminate pressure, but to help you manage it when it counts.

Now, a reset is essentially a small, practised action that helps interrupt a spiral and bring you back to the moment.

It might be a physical movement, a quick breath, or a change in posture.

You see it in how a tennis player adjusts their strings or how a kicker resets their stance.

But done right, it’s a performance habit that works.

More than that, couple that with breath work, and you’ve got a real-time recovery tool.

Why breathing?

Because it’s one of the fastest ways to signal safety to the nervous system.

Slow, controlled breaths, especially longer exhales, activate the parasympathetic branch of the nervous system, helping reduce arousal and restore focus (Lehrer & Gevirtz, 2014).

Try This: A Simple Reset Breathing Protocol

1. Inhale for 4 seconds — through the nose, steady and low into the belly.

2. Hold for 2 seconds — just enough to create stillness.

3. Exhale for 6 seconds — long and smooth through the mouth.

4. Repeat for 2–3 rounds — while pairing it with a reset cue like “lock in” or “next job.”

It’s not about calming down, it’s about recalibrating.

Resetting the system so you’re back in control of your breath, body, and attention.

And the more often you practise it in training, the more reliable it becomes when the pressure is real.

Or Try This: A Fast In-Game Reset (When You Don’t Have Time)

Sometimes, there’s no room for a full breath cycle. The game is moving. The moment won’t wait.

In those cases, keep it tight:

1. One deep breath in — through the nose.

2. Sharp exhale out — through the mouth.

3. Cue word or action — say it or do it: “Here,” “Now,” “Next,” or a quick physical anchor like clapping your hands, stomping once, or tapping your chest.

That’s it. Three seconds.

Just enough to break the spiral, reset your posture, and bring your head back into the game.

Not everything needs to be long.

But everything needs to be trained.

How to Train It Like a Skill

So far, we’ve covered what to do in high-pressure moments, how to reframe anxiety, redirect your focus, and use your breath to reset.

But knowing these tools isn’t the same as being able to use them.

This is where many (if not most) athletes and coaches fall short.

They understand the concepts, but they treat them like emergency hacks, something to remember or suddenly rely on when the game is being lost.

The problem is, if you haven’t trained it, it won’t show up when it matters.

Mental skills, like physical skills, need reps.

And they need to be built into the same rhythm as everything else you practise.

Why?

Because the goal isn’t to remember to reset when things fall apart.

The goal is to respond without hesitation because it's embedded in your system.

But, how do you make that happen?

You integrate it. You reinforce it.

You treat it as non-negotiable and not just something athletes do when things go wrong.

You practise it while things are going right and the stakes are low.

Make It Part of the Environment

But here's something crucial to understand...

If you only practise these tools when you're calm, they'll never hold up under pressure.

You also need to simulate stress, not overwhelm, but discomfort.

That means using resets, cue words, or breathing drills during small-sided games, post-error reps, fitness blocks, or even after a missed lift in the gym.

For instance, finish a sprint block, cue a reset.

Miss a penalty, verbalise your reframe.

Teach your brain to associate pressure with control, not collapse.

And coaches, this part matters: if you ignore these moments in training, don’t expect players to manage them on game day.

Integrate them. Make them normal.

Praise the response, not just the outcome.

But,

Use What You’ll Actually Use

Forget the polished performance psychology scripts that sound good on paper.

What matters is what actually sticks.

That means the things that you’ll use in the heat of a game.

Test different words, gestures, and breaths.

See what lands.

It should feel like it’s yours.

And if you’re a coach, have your athletes develop their own cue sets.

In my experience, athletes almost always have their own preferred language that resonates or is commonly used in the team, so let them have the freedom to choose the language that feels natural.

But, in the same breath, whatever they choose, challenge them to commit and rehearse it under pressure.

Also,

Track It and Reflect Often

Just like physical reps, mental skills improve when they’re tracked, reflected on, and improved when and where necessary.

For example:

• Did you use your reset today?

• If not, why?

• What can (must) you do next time?

• Did you catch yourself spiralling, or were you able to pivot?

• If so, how can you make that even easier next time?

• If not, why?

• What prevented you?

• What can you do about it next time?

But these aren't just feel-good questions, but performance markers to help identify gaps in your mental skills strategy so that you can take another approach.

We do the same with physical skills training, so why not the mental game?

Use video, peer feedback, or post-training reviews to reinforce this.

Build mental debriefs into the culture.

And keep it simple — what worked, what didn’t, what will I (we) do next time?

This one idea is something I've tried to get pro athletes I've worked with to incorporate into their system, but there are always more important things to focus on and spend time on.

So, it doesn't happen, and nothing improves.

The same mistakes are repeated game after game, for the whole season.

The issue is that if we don't look for something, we don't see it, and that usually means we cannot improve a gaping wound that's right in front of our eyes.

Let's now have a brief word about,

What Coaches Could Do Differently

If athletes are expected to regulate under pressure, coaches could lead the way, not just by talking about it, but by modelling it, reinforcing it, and designing for it.

Coaches set the tone for what matters.

Research in leadership and sport psychology consistently shows that athletes take their emotional and behavioural cues from their coaches, especially in high-stakes situations.

When coaches consistently model regulation, reflection, and composure, those behaviours are more likely to be adopted by the team.

And when emotional control is only mentioned after a meltdown or a poor result, it becomes reactive, something athletes think about only when things go wrong.

But if it's embedded in language, routines, and feedback, it becomes part of the standard.

The opposite of all of the above is obviously equally true.

For example, coaches could start praising the reset, not just the recovery. “I liked how you took a breath before that penalty.” “Good reset after the turnover.”

These types of comments signal that managing emotion is part of performance, not separate from it.

But, again, this is a huge shift for coaches to make, let alone athletes; no wonder so many athletes just neglect mental skills development.

It starts at the top.

But, coaches could also model it themselves.

What does the athlete observe or sense about the coaches' attitude towards mental skills development in the team?

What does the athlete see when a coach disagrees with a ref?

Or when their team makes three errors in a row?

Or the team loses three games on the trod?

Coaches who stay grounded give athletes permission to do the same. The standard is contagious.

Coaches who do the opposite create the opposite effect.

So, coaches could build these skills into the session, not just bolt them on as an afterthought.

Cue words after fitness.

Short breathing protocols between drills.

Mental resets after errors.

Pressure training sequences.

These don’t need to be significant disruptions.

In fact, the smaller and more consistent, the better.

At the end of the day, it’s not about turning practice into a psychology workshop.

It’s about building athletes who can regulate and refocus without overthinking it when it matters.

And that only happens when the environment supports it, expects it, and trains for it.

Conclusion: Build It Before You Need It

Listen, a crucial idea to take away here is that pressure reveals patterns. It doesn’t create them.

Across this three-part series, we’ve looked at how emotions affect performance, why anxiety can either fuel or freeze you, and what actually happens in the brain when pressure shows up.

We explored major theories like the IZOF model, Drive Theory, Reversal Theory, and Attentional Control Theory to unpack the mechanics behind high-stakes moments.

Then we turned that insight into action, teaching you how to reframe anxiety, redirect focus, use breathwork, and build mental resets into training.

In this final piece, we’ve shown how emotional regulation isn’t just something you hope for; it’s something you train.

Like strength. Like speed. Like skill.

So, whether you’re a developing athlete, a high-performer, or a coach working to embed this into your culture, the message is clear: train it before you need it.

If an athlete unravels in a critical moment, it’s rarely because they didn’t care enough.

It’s usually more of a reason that they didn’t have the tools trained into them.

That’s why emotional control must be built before it’s needed.

Not once-off.

Not spoken about in theory.

But rehearsed, reinforced, and embedded, until it becomes part of the athlete’s performance identity.

Reframing. Cueing. Breathing. Resetting.

These aren’t soft add-ons.

They’re part of what makes someone dependable under fire.

So, whether you’re an athlete, coach, or both, again: don’t wait for the pressure to teach you. Train for it now.

Because the difference between clutch and collapse is rarely talent, it’s regulation.

And if you want to start building that regulation today, with something structured and personalised, start with something like the Mental Toughness Assessment (MTA) I created.

It’s designed to help you identify your current strengths and blind spots under pressure, and gives you a baseline to work from. And it's free.

Or, if you’re ready to go deeper, check out the Peak Performance Plan (PPP).

It’s where we build out your mental, physical, skill, and tactical strengths into a personalised game plan.

Simple, structured, and designed for athletes who want to train more than just the body.

Both are built for real athletes in real environments.

Just practical tools that help you perform when it counts.

You can find them both on the site.

Or reach out if you're unsure where to begin.